Film Review: Chappie

“Burn it to ash!”

I would like to preface this review by saying I am a Neil Blomkamp fan and one of the few people who enjoyed Elysium. It’s a bit heavy handed sure, but the subject matter at hand is handled well, the villain was great and it looked spectacular. THAT being said, Chappie is by far one of the absolute worst things I have seen in years. Possibly ever.

Chappie fails on every conceivable level imaginable. Narratively its so all over the map that little to nothing coming out of anyone’s mouth makes any sense whatsoever. I saw this film with 3 other people and we found ourselves laughing so loudly at things which clearly weren’t supposed to be funny, but we found hysterical because of how unbelievably terrible they were. It’s so weird watching this film try and get you to feel anything about the robot, because as soon as it implants some sort of heavy handed moral message (by Ninja of Die Antwoord no less), it immediately negates it with something so counter intuitive that it makes you wonder if anyone was paying attention at all to the editing or script, or if it was all just on the spot improvisation.

Speaking of Die Antwoord, let’s talk about that for a second…why the HELL are they even in this? Playing themselves no less?! Any time the South African hip hop duo are on screen (which is a lot btw), all you hear are their songs blasting in the background, while they wear clothing with their own logo on it. It’s so fucking mind boggling that it makes your head want to explode. And even worse is they play an integral part of the robot’s moral upbringing, which involves robbing, slang teaching and leaving him to be beaten and tortured by local thugs…then proceed to tell him they love him, while they all but throw their website up on the screen…this whole movie is a gigantic, nonsensical shit show of such epic proportions.

Again, I loved District 9, liked Elysium, but everything about Chappie (minus the visuals) is terrible. This movie is a like a kid with a bunch of toys and a camcorder making up grandiose nonsense for the sake of spectacle; muttering unintelligible gibberish and bashing action figures into one another, while their parents tell them what a great job they’re doing.

If anything, see Chappie to witness the most unintentionally hilarious film ever made about Die Antwoord and a robot that can use a PS4 to create consciousness transfer technology, but can’t tell the difference between murder and sleeping.

Just…the worst.

-Sock Talk Jon-

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